My Private Part Died---Funny!

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
'Yes , Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.
'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,
She replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part
Hanging out of his pajamas.
He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,
'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'
'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.
'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.
'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,
But why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'
(You've gotta love this .)
'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

Skywatch Friday #7 The Ozark Sky

This was a good week for taking pictures here in the Ozarks. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did taking them.


Visit the Sky Watch Friday home page anytime after 7:30 p.m. Greenwich Mean Time on Thursdays to see sky photos from around the world. You'll be glad you did.

This was taken on Sunday December 28, 2008

This mysterious view was offered to me on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 Taken on New Year's Eve 2008 The First Sunset of the New Year 01-10-09

This is something to look forward to this week!
FIRST METEORS OF 2009: The annual Quadrantid meteor shower peaks on Jan. 3rd when Earth enters a stream of debris from shattered comet 2003 EH1. The timing of the encounter favors observers in western North America and across the Pacific Ocean who could see dozens to hundreds of meteors during the dark hours before sunrise this Saturday morning. Visit http://spaceweather.com/ for a sky map and more information.

Riding the Trails in the Ozarks

Recently I was given some old pictures from the 80's of a day that my brother,his wife and I went horseback riding. At the time I had a Quarter-horse /Thoroughbred mare named Uriah. I stabled her down on the Finley River south of Nixa, Missouri. It was a beautiful place to ride. We could ride the back roads to a spot where there was river access, well not really river access, but more like a spot that overlooked the river valley. The ride would take approximately 1 hour to get to a lane that would take you through the woods and finally to a power line easement that crossed the river.






Once you got to where you could see the river you were probably 100 feet above on a rock outcropping. Someone had constructed a log "seat", really just a couple of split logs that you could sit and see clear across the river valley to the next road. Often you would see hawks and once in a while you could see an eagle soaring around. It was a magical place that stills holds lots of wonderful memories for me.



I can remember one ride I had taken with my younger brother Mark that we had misjudged the time and it started to get dark on us. There was a small area of woods that you had to go through along a wildlife trail.

That trail was barely visible in the daylight let alone when it was dark. Fortunately for us the horses knew the trail pretty well. I led the way, or really my horse did, I was just along for the ride because I couldn't see a darn thing! We made it out of the woods finally and I swore I would never do that in the dark again. And I kept that promise, believe me!
There were many rides we would get stuck out in the rain, sometimes even the snow. But it never really bothered me because just being out on my horse was like heaven on earth. To ride something so much bigger than you that would usually do what you wanted them to do was amazing.


I've added the few pictures I have, they aren't that great but they do elicit some wonderful memories for me. The year these were taken my mare was pregnant with her first colt. She had been left with a young stud Quarter-horse for about a month and we weren't sure she had bred, I only figured it out for sure about 3 months before she foaled. But you can tell in one of these pictures that she has a big belly. She never was a big horse, not quite 15 hands and always very slim and trim. She stayed that was because she was kind of the "nervous" sort of a horse. Not everyone could ride her because she had an attitude most of the time. But to me that was just perfect.


The dog in the pictures was Jake, my side-kick.He went on every horse back ride I took.He would follow along never causing any trouble and once in a while he would even ride the horse with me. I remember more than once we were riding along a road that had a particularly bad dog and rather than get chased and possibly in a fight, we had a stump that Jake could jump up on and then with my help he would jump up in front of me in the saddle. It was always hilarious when we passed that dog, because Jake would never fail to bark from way up there. It always seemed to piss that dog off.

I wonder why?

Another Conjunction in the Sky 12-29-08

Tonight the evening sky gave us another nice view. The slender crescent Moon is approaching a conjunction with Venus. Then the next two nights it will move closer to Venus and at the same time Mercury and Jupiter are converging for their own Dec. 31st conjunction. All of this happens in the Southwestern sky just after sunset.

This was the diagram for tonight. I got some pictures but they just don't show up here well enough.

This is a diagram of what we can expect tomorrow night.

This is a diagram of what to look for on Wednesday Night.

Hopefully I'll have some better pictures tomorrow that I can add here.

Happy Sky watching!

Skywatch Friday #6 Christmas Week in the Ozarks

We have had clouds it seems for weeks, but finally they cleared and I was able to get some shots. All of these were taken in the last week and we had very few clouds to speak of most nights. But regardless of the lack of clouds we had some spectacular sunsets! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.




The Sunsets of Christmas Week

I loved the way the clouds looked on this night. Dec. 19, 2008

This was taken on Sunday Dec 21, 2008

I took this because of all the contrails, air traffic was busy on Christmas Day!

The Sun Sets on Christmas Day 2008

Visit the Sky Watch Friday home page anytime after 7:30 p.m. Greenwich Mean Time on Thursdays to see sky photos from around the world. You'll be glad you did.

Thank You for visiting!

The Saga of the Shoplifting Dog

This is just so funny, you have to see this!

The shoplifting dog

"A thief remains at large after pulling off a daring heist - in the pet food aisle," the Associated Press reports. "Surveillance video at a supermarket in this Salt Lake City suburb caught a dog shoplifting, KSL-TV reported Wednesday."

Not to worry, this guy will catch the thief!

This came from a friend of mine on Newsvine.

'Back Through the Checkout Line'

David Turner negotiated a cart stuffed with gifts through the aisles of the department store, swiping his card or reaching into his wallet for cash. This was the first year he could buy little Sarah every gift she had pointed to or torn from the Sunday paper. It was a good feeling. I sure don't have to worry about money this time, he thought as he dropped a few more items into the cart.




A new job, a fat raise, and a bigger house had all been part of his success package this year. Turner paused to let another shopper pass him in the electronics aisle. He plucked a video game console from a shelf and somehow found room for it in the cart.




He made it through the checkout line and pushed his heavy cart of Christmas loot across the parking lot to the van. As he tossed the unwrapped gifts through the side door, he noticed a woman and a little girl returning to an old station wagon next to the van. He tried not to stare, but seeing the ragged clothes on the girl and the tired face of the young woman holding her hand, it was hard not to notice.




The woman gave him a polite smile and popped the hatchback on the old wagon. She carefully placed two small plastic bags in the back and began checking the contents. The little girl gave David a huge grin. "We're having Christmas dinner! Santa Claus is coming to OUR house!" She did a little dance and spun around, shivering a bit in the cold air.




One of the plastic bags split and rolled its contents onto the ground. David knelt down and helped the woman retrieve the items and put them into the other bag. He saw two cans of beans, a package of hamburger, and a couple of cheap toys from the discount bin.




"Thanks," said the woman. Their eyes met for a moment, and then she looked away. She took the little girl's hand. "Let's go, Jessica."




Turner touched the woman's elbow. "Wait a minute."


Another force, perhaps the Christmas spirit itself, grabbed him firmly by the scruff of the neck. He popped the hatchback on the woman's car. He transferred all the gifts from the van to the wagon and shut the hatchback with a bang. The woman stared at him in surprise.




"Merry Christmas," Turner said.


He headed back into the store.


The End
Source is a friend of mine on Newsvine